Chapter 126 – Back Online!

2 08 2009

(honorineblanchard)

Hello again! Remember me?

It’s a long time since I’ve been able to blog, since my computer broke down about a month ago, and I’ve only just had it fixed.

It’s been weird not having access to the Internet for a while, but I think it’s probably done me some good. I’ve been out the house more, anyway.

My brother invited me along to see a football game with some of his friends last week. He said I ought to be less of a shut-in. I didn’t really appreciate being called a shut-in, but I went along anyway. He meant well, and it was nice of him to buy me a ticket.

When I was a little girl, I used to love watching football. I never liked playing it. Somehow, I never liked the effort involved in running around a field. And I never had the hand-eye co-ordination for it, either.

Anyway, it was good fun watching a live game again. We lost, 2-1, which was a bit disappointing, but it was fun to go along and cheer on our team.

You’ll never guess who was in the stands, one row in front, right next to where I was sat. The artist guy from the lake! At first I wasn’t sure whether it was really him or not, but then he turned around during half time and it was definitely him. He seemed friendly, so I mentioned that I’d seen him at the lake, and we ended up conversing. His name is François, he’s an artist, just like I guessed, but that’s just his hobby. Anyway, he turned out to be a really nice guy, and he offered to buy us a drink after the game.

So while we were at the bar, drinking our commiseratory drinks, he mentioned that he was in the business of computer maintenance. My brother commented about my broken computer, and François said he’d have look at it and repair it for a low price if I liked. So of course I said yes, and he came round the following day. He fixed it in no time at all!

I’ve been doing some thinking, lately, about who I am and how true I am to myself. And I’ve realised – maybe my brother’s been right all along. Maybe I’m not well. But I still don’t want to see a doctor.

I’m so often apathetic, but I know I’m not depressed, or I’d feel more upset. I don’t really eat enough, but I know I’m not anorexic, because I’m fine with my image and I know it’s not healthy to go without food; I just sometimes forget to eat. I often have trouble getting to sleep, but I don’t think I qualify as an insomniac. There’s always something – some noise, or something on my mind.

I know, this is stupid. And stupidity isn’t a disease. But my brother is right in one regard – this isn’t how I’m supposed to be. I’m going to change, starting from now.

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