Chapter 125 – the rant

3 07 2009

Woah, it’s a while since I’ve posted one of these.  But then, if you’re reading this, you probably noticed.  I can’t apologise enough for that.  Sorry.

Leaver’s Day, Revenge of the Fallen, and a meme from a muse

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little odd.  I’ve isolated myself, both online and offline.  But, this is neither the time nor the place for me to angst, especially when I’ve very little to angst about.  Besides, this is only my third post in a while, so I probably shouldn’t push my luck by trying everyone’s patience.

I meant to post this chapter yesterday, but what with one thing and another, I’m afraid I failed to find the time.  You see, yesterday was leaver’s day at school, which meant we all had to go in, sit around feeling boiling, bored and depressed, eat lunch, listen to a short assembly, and go home again.  They mispelled my name in the yearbook, but that’s OK, because I didn’t order one.  I did order a commemorative hoodie, but apparently I didn’t pay for it, so they’re going to hold onto it until I do so.

After that, I went home, made dinner, and then went off to the cinema.  I’d gotten a text that morning from a few friends who were back from uni, who were going to see the new Transformers movie.  Unfortunately, one guy was late, so we changed times to a later showing.  He didn’t show up, so I volunteered to wait outside with his ticket while the others found seats.  Fifteen minutes into the film, he still hadn’t arrived, so I gave up and went in, and was informed that I’d “missed loads of explosions already”.

I can’t honestly say I enjoyed the movie very much.  I’d hesitate to say I enjoyed it less than Twilight, but I wasn’t expecting to enjoy that, and I think it was possibly the better movie (please don’t hurt me!).  It probably didn’t help that I haven’t seen the original, so I didn’t know the characters, but I arrived in time to see bland Optimus Prime deliver a boring speech, and see Sam, his parents and his goofy roommate get up to moronic hijinks at college (note to Michael Bay, if by some minute chance you ever read this – people on pot do not act like that).

When we did get an action scene, involving a Decepticon named (spoiler) Alice, it was an enjoyable spectacle, and the later ones were even better.  I particularly liked the fight scene in which Optimus Prime dual-wielded a couple of glowy sword things.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t suspend my disbelief enough to form any attachment to the characters or take an interest in the plot, because the characters are so ridiculous.  When stuff isn’t blowing up on screen, we’re subjected to rather boring comedy, usually involving some combination of slapstick, innuendo and testicles.  Particularly crass are a couple of Autobots named Skid and Mudflap, two annoying ethnic stereotypes who make Jar-Jar Binks seem positively endearing by comparison.

Still, if you cut out those Autobot twins, with their ghetto slang, their illiteracy and their failure to do anything useful in terms of moving the story forward, and if you cut out the “hilarious” comedy scenes involving tasers and pot brownies, it could have been an enjoyable action flick.  As it was, it was far too long.  I did phone home beforehand to let my parents know it was a long movie, but the phone was engaged and they didn’t check their messages, so when I emerged from the cinema at midnight, it was to discover a concerned text message, which seemed to assume I’d been out drinking.

If I hadn’t forgotten about my email account lately, I’d have discovered that Museditions emailed me a while back with a meme to complete.  So, very belatedly, here it is:

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

“My hair looks terrible!”

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?

£1.50.  That’s not all the money I have in the world, but you see why I’m getting slightly desperate on the job hunting thing.

3. Do you label yourself?

Yes, although I’m not sure it’s a good idea, especially since I think I’m neither sufficiently normal to be mainstream, nor suffiently computer literate or aware of anime and video games to be a proper nerd.

4. What does your watch look like?

Small, black, electronic.  It’s very cheap.  I do own a better one, but I’m scared of scratching it, so I don’t wear it!  Plus it’s in analogue time, which always takes me a moment to read, since I’m so used to my digital watch.

5. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Just leaving the cinema having seen Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

6. What’s a word that you say a lot?

“Actually”.  I say it all the time offline.  I correct myself, I correct other people, I use it for emphasis or even just as filler.  I really ought to stop using that word!

7. Who told you he/she loved you last?

A really creepy old guy I met down the pub the other day, disturbingly enough.  He told me that repeatedly.  I made an excuse and ran away at the first opportunity.

8. Last furry thing you touched?

No idea.  Probably the neighbour’s dog.

9. What was the last thing you said to someone?

“Goodnight, dad.”

10. The last song you listened to?

“The Masses against the Classes”, by Manic Street Preachers.

11. Where did you live five years ago?
 

Same place I live now.

12. Are you jealous of anyone?

People who are totally content with who they are, I suppose.

13. Is anyone jealous of you?

Hah!  Not that I know of.

14. Name three things that you have on you at all times?

My watch, and – that’s about it.  I don’t keep anything on my person at all times.  I have a tendancy to go out of the house with nothing but the clothes I’m wearing, forgetting my keys, phone, ID…

15. What’s your favourite town/city?

I don’t know.  I’m not a city person.  Probably Cheltenham, although I wouldn’t want to live there (also, it’s kinda snobby).

16. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

Probably January, sending relatives “thank you” letters.

17. Can you change the oil on a car?

Nope.

18. What is your current desktop picture?

Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist.  It used to be the TARDIS until quite recently when I decided it was time for a change.

19. When did you start your blog?

March 2007, as part of a school project.  Hence the title.

20. What country would you like to live in other than your own?

I’d rather stay here, but since that’s not allowed, somewhere in Europe.  I wouldn’t mind anywhere in the British Isles, or France, Spain, Germany, Italy, or anywhere in Scandinavia.  That last sentence has gone off the page, so I hope I didn’t just break WordPress.

Thank you for that, Muse.  I enjoyed that. 🙂  I hope you enjoyed it too.

So… back!





Chapter 124 – In the Dungeon of Death

13 04 2009

(Tom Hogg blogs)

Well, hello there, Internet.

I don’t plan to make a habit of blogging, but after Kard posted all those “Dungeon of Death” logs online, I thought I’d clear a few things up.

The posts that you saw were assembled from a number of remarks that I’d made over the course of each day. The remarks were meant to let Iaru, Bradley, Megan and Johnny know I was OK. The computer I was given displayed a black screen, and when I typed, text would appear. I’d hit enter to send it to kard, who then edited it and censored out anything that suggested that I was talking directly to anyone in particular, as well as anything that suggested I had any notion of how to get out of the dungeon, and anything that contradicted her story about me betraying the others.

I think it’s only fair that I tell you what happened after my last set of remarks was posted. Renard – that’s the guy we met who was dressed as a guard, but I’m pretty sure that’s not his real name – was able to reprogram the computer’s transmitter and use it to contact Research Team Seven. Turns out he was a spy for Research Team Seven all along.

After that, it was just a matter of hanging about until Research Team Seven got there. They let us out, and we ran for it. Most of the Network people had fled with everything of value, including the clef, but we were grateful for that because that meant nobody was attacking us. After that, we got into a helicopter, and we got taken here, to Research Team Seven’s hideout.

Anyway, it turns out the Dungeon of Death was nothing more than an entertainment for kard, and a deterrent to anyone who felt like challenging the Network of Arms. Those people I took to be guards were actually a group who didn’t like kard’s leadership and tried to force her to step down.

Most of the prisoners from the dungeon have been rounded up and were anonymously delivered to the police last Thursday. Unfortunately, several of them escaped in the confusion.

We’re all of us unsure where we go from here. Research Team Seven offered to look after us, and we accepted their offer, but I’m not sure whether that was the right decision. I wonder how the farmhands are getting on without us.

Ilona’s been very quiet since we got out of the dungeon. I think she’s still in shock. As far as I can tell, she hasn’t talked much to anybody. I’m a little worried for her, I have to admit.





Chapter 123 – the rant

11 04 2009

And it was a sunny day in real life, too!  Very pleasant.

Doctor Who was awesome.  I won’t spoil it, but it’s a good ‘un.  Also, Lee Evans stole the show as a UNIT scientist.

Happy Easter!





Chapter 122 – the rant

10 04 2009

Am I actually incapable of posting these at a sensible time?  No, I’m just rather rubbish at it.

Anyway, I think this should clear up a few more points.

Bradley’s illness is a natural consequence of being kept in such nasty conditions.  It is in no way influenced by how the author is feeling.

***

This has been a good week for TV, I think.  Saturday’s Primeval was pretty cool, and saw the team do battle with a gremlin in a creepy old house.

Then Monday’s Heroes was one of the best this season.  We found out who Rebel is!  I really wasn’t expecting it to be that person, but it’s awesome that it was!

Goodnight!

Current listening: Duke Ellington, “Rumpus in Richmond”.





Chapter 122 – Sorry

10 04 2009

(bizzariarox)

hi guys. as reported by johnny, we’re with the real research team 7 now. so, yay? i guess. i mean they’re nicer to us than kard was.

sakura’s been in contact with us. she and her family have had a hell of an adventure themselves, running from the network of allies in america. sakura’s dad was the one who stole the clef from footgood shoes, and the people at the network weren’t happy about that. i think i trust research team 7 now. well, trust isn’t the word. but they aren’t evil. they’ve been looking after sakura’s family, and they’ve been looking after mark and caitlin.

i’m still not happy about the kidnapping. it was kidnapping. and they haven’t been able to justify that. but you can tell they feel remorse for that, and looking back, they still treated us a hell of a lot better than the network of arms did.

i figure i owe you guys an apology. that last post, as you probably guessed, was a complete lie. sorry for lying to you guys.

i didn’t have any choice. kard would have killed me if i didn’t write it. i tried to put a hidden message in there so you’d know the truth.

kard is insane. tom is innocent. and i can’t imagine what it must have been like for him. since we got back, he’s been even less talkative than usual. i’m a little worried about him.

oh, and i seem to be coming down with a bit of a cold. bleh. don’t think it’s anything to worry about though.





Chapter 120 – the rant

5 04 2009

Left it late again, but at least it’s the holidays.

That laser gun is the most science-fictiony thing that has appeared in the story.  Or at least, the most sci-fi.  I don’t think it’s particularly far-fetched, though.  I believe current technology doesn’t allow the construction of lasers powerful enough to use as handheld weapons.  Within the world of ‘The Experiment’, the technology exists; it’s just expensive.

I hope this chapter clears a few things up.  If not, worry not, for I intend to include a better explanation in a future chapter.

However, I have completely run out of chapters, so I’m going to have to get writing.





Chapter 120 – Saturday

4 04 2009

(kard)

The following account was written by the traitor, Tom Hogg, during his sixth day of punishment.

________________________

Concrete floors are not comfortable, but I think that’s probably the most sleep either of us has had since we got here.

You know, I’ve been wondering about this back wall. It’s made of metal, while all the others are concrete. I think it might be some kind of door. Examined the floor by that wall, and found there’s a tiny gap next to the “wall”, where it slots into the floor. I can’t hear anything on the other side, though. Tried hammering on it but nothing happened. Didn’t expect it to, really.

We were just leaving the cell through the regular door when we ran into a guy in the same uniform as the security guards coming out of one of the other cells. He held up some kind of gun – a laser gun, by the look of it, god knows what one of those was doing here – and he demanded that we tell him who we were and what we were doing there. Well, you don’t argue with someone who’s pointing a gun at you, so we told him our names and how we got there. He lowered the gun, and said that we seemed like OK people. He offered us some food pills, which he’d been collecting and storing in one of the cells. He told us he’d been stuck here for weeks.

We thought this seemed pretty strange action for a guard, and he explained that the people in uniforms aren’t guards; they’re just Research Team Seven workers who managed to piss off kard. This whole place is a glorified prison. The point isn’t to escape, it’s that we kill ourselves trying. He warned us that a bunch of the uniformed people have banded together to try and find a way out of here, and that they are indiscriminately killing anyone who they come across who isn’t in uniform, since most of those are serial killers and terrorists who kard abducted.

He wants to borrow this computer. He seems an OK person himself, so I see no reason not to lend it to him.