Chapter 125 – the rant

3 07 2009

Woah, it’s a while since I’ve posted one of these.  But then, if you’re reading this, you probably noticed.  I can’t apologise enough for that.  Sorry.

Leaver’s Day, Revenge of the Fallen, and a meme from a muse

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little odd.  I’ve isolated myself, both online and offline.  But, this is neither the time nor the place for me to angst, especially when I’ve very little to angst about.  Besides, this is only my third post in a while, so I probably shouldn’t push my luck by trying everyone’s patience.

I meant to post this chapter yesterday, but what with one thing and another, I’m afraid I failed to find the time.  You see, yesterday was leaver’s day at school, which meant we all had to go in, sit around feeling boiling, bored and depressed, eat lunch, listen to a short assembly, and go home again.  They mispelled my name in the yearbook, but that’s OK, because I didn’t order one.  I did order a commemorative hoodie, but apparently I didn’t pay for it, so they’re going to hold onto it until I do so.

After that, I went home, made dinner, and then went off to the cinema.  I’d gotten a text that morning from a few friends who were back from uni, who were going to see the new Transformers movie.  Unfortunately, one guy was late, so we changed times to a later showing.  He didn’t show up, so I volunteered to wait outside with his ticket while the others found seats.  Fifteen minutes into the film, he still hadn’t arrived, so I gave up and went in, and was informed that I’d “missed loads of explosions already”.

I can’t honestly say I enjoyed the movie very much.  I’d hesitate to say I enjoyed it less than Twilight, but I wasn’t expecting to enjoy that, and I think it was possibly the better movie (please don’t hurt me!).  It probably didn’t help that I haven’t seen the original, so I didn’t know the characters, but I arrived in time to see bland Optimus Prime deliver a boring speech, and see Sam, his parents and his goofy roommate get up to moronic hijinks at college (note to Michael Bay, if by some minute chance you ever read this – people on pot do not act like that).

When we did get an action scene, involving a Decepticon named (spoiler) Alice, it was an enjoyable spectacle, and the later ones were even better.  I particularly liked the fight scene in which Optimus Prime dual-wielded a couple of glowy sword things.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t suspend my disbelief enough to form any attachment to the characters or take an interest in the plot, because the characters are so ridiculous.  When stuff isn’t blowing up on screen, we’re subjected to rather boring comedy, usually involving some combination of slapstick, innuendo and testicles.  Particularly crass are a couple of Autobots named Skid and Mudflap, two annoying ethnic stereotypes who make Jar-Jar Binks seem positively endearing by comparison.

Still, if you cut out those Autobot twins, with their ghetto slang, their illiteracy and their failure to do anything useful in terms of moving the story forward, and if you cut out the “hilarious” comedy scenes involving tasers and pot brownies, it could have been an enjoyable action flick.  As it was, it was far too long.  I did phone home beforehand to let my parents know it was a long movie, but the phone was engaged and they didn’t check their messages, so when I emerged from the cinema at midnight, it was to discover a concerned text message, which seemed to assume I’d been out drinking.

If I hadn’t forgotten about my email account lately, I’d have discovered that Museditions emailed me a while back with a meme to complete.  So, very belatedly, here it is:

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

“My hair looks terrible!”

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?

£1.50.  That’s not all the money I have in the world, but you see why I’m getting slightly desperate on the job hunting thing.

3. Do you label yourself?

Yes, although I’m not sure it’s a good idea, especially since I think I’m neither sufficiently normal to be mainstream, nor suffiently computer literate or aware of anime and video games to be a proper nerd.

4. What does your watch look like?

Small, black, electronic.  It’s very cheap.  I do own a better one, but I’m scared of scratching it, so I don’t wear it!  Plus it’s in analogue time, which always takes me a moment to read, since I’m so used to my digital watch.

5. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Just leaving the cinema having seen Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

6. What’s a word that you say a lot?

“Actually”.  I say it all the time offline.  I correct myself, I correct other people, I use it for emphasis or even just as filler.  I really ought to stop using that word!

7. Who told you he/she loved you last?

A really creepy old guy I met down the pub the other day, disturbingly enough.  He told me that repeatedly.  I made an excuse and ran away at the first opportunity.

8. Last furry thing you touched?

No idea.  Probably the neighbour’s dog.

9. What was the last thing you said to someone?

“Goodnight, dad.”

10. The last song you listened to?

“The Masses against the Classes”, by Manic Street Preachers.

11. Where did you live five years ago?

Same place I live now.

12. Are you jealous of anyone?

People who are totally content with who they are, I suppose.

13. Is anyone jealous of you?

Hah!  Not that I know of.

14. Name three things that you have on you at all times?

My watch, and – that’s about it.  I don’t keep anything on my person at all times.  I have a tendancy to go out of the house with nothing but the clothes I’m wearing, forgetting my keys, phone, ID…

15. What’s your favourite town/city?

I don’t know.  I’m not a city person.  Probably Cheltenham, although I wouldn’t want to live there (also, it’s kinda snobby).

16. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

Probably January, sending relatives “thank you” letters.

17. Can you change the oil on a car?


18. What is your current desktop picture?

Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist.  It used to be the TARDIS until quite recently when I decided it was time for a change.

19. When did you start your blog?

March 2007, as part of a school project.  Hence the title.

20. What country would you like to live in other than your own?

I’d rather stay here, but since that’s not allowed, somewhere in Europe.  I wouldn’t mind anywhere in the British Isles, or France, Spain, Germany, Italy, or anywhere in Scandinavia.  That last sentence has gone off the page, so I hope I didn’t just break WordPress.

Thank you for that, Muse.  I enjoyed that. 🙂  I hope you enjoyed it too.

So… back!


Revenge of the Meme – Musical Version

28 02 2009

Tagged by sulz.  It’s a while since I’ve done a memetic post, so this is probably due.  Sulz created her own “fake album” using the following rules:

This is the cover to the first album from my fake band. You too can have a fake music career. Here’s how it’s done

1 – Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random” or click
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band. If it’s already the name of a band, you can hit random again.

2 – Go to “random quotations” or click
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 – Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 – Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5 – Post it to your blog with this text and tag the blog buddies you want to join in.

So, my own attempt produced this:

Name: Halfway to Heaven

Album title: The Situation Should Be Changed

Album cover: Tower of Moviscrolliosis

And the finished result (courtesy of MS Paint, since I don’t have Photoshop):

 Fake album

(No copyright infringement intended.  Image is property of its original owner.)

Hmm… I’m thinking they’d be alternative rock, with pop punk influences and maybe a slight political angle.  There could be a gothic element there, too, come to think of it.

Now it’s your turn, reader!

Current listening: Morningwood, “That’s How You Know It’s Love”

Return of the Meme!

13 12 2008

It’s a while since I’ve done one of these.

Sulz has tagged me to do a meme!  Yay!  As usual, some of my answers are cop-outs, but I’ve tried, I really have.

4 places I go over and over:

(1) School – I don’t like it, but I seem to keep coming back year after year!
(2) The pub
(3) The Gloucestershire countryside
(4) This computer!

4 people who e-mail me regularly:

(1) Nobody, really.
(2) My friends and I only tend to email when we’re planning to go someplace.
(3) I do get some annoying semi-spam emails on a regular basis.
(4) I haven’t answered this question very well, have I?

4 of my favorite places to eat:

(1) Bella Italia (nearby fancy Italian restaurant)
(2) The Balti (nearby welcoming Indian restaurant)
(3) The local kebab place (they do awesome chips)
(4) Pizza Hut (naturally)

4 places you’d rather be NOW:

(1) Any of the above places to eat
(2) The Costa del Sol
(3) Alton Towers
(4) A more comfortable chair than the one I’m currently sat in

4 TV shows I could watch over and over:

(1) Doctor Who
(2) Fawlty Towers
(3) Fullmetal Alchemist
(4) Red Dwarf

4 movies I could watch over and over:

(1) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(2) Cloverfield
(3) Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
(4) Fantasia

4 people I hope will respond:

(1) Museditions
(2) Gentledove
(3) YOU
(4) The guy in the back row with the funny hat

Meme Time 2

25 09 2008

This is the first non-story-related post I’ve written in a while.

I was tagged by sulz to do a meme.  This one has some rules, which I’m going to break:

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and they cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

Sadly, I’m too lazy to come up with any new questions, so this is identical to sulz’s version of the meme.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Shock, anger, and eventually forgiveness, I would think.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
Everything being right.  Whatever the hell that means.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
Nobody’s!  (Unless they really deserved it…)

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Most of it would go to charity, and the rest would be a handy reserve for whenever I’m short on cash.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
As long as necessary… possibly.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Try to feel happy for them.  Fail miserably.  Be nice to them.

9. If you like to act with someone, who will it be? Your gf/bf or an actress/actor?
Actress/actor.  Acting can be harder with someone you know personally.

10. What takes you down the fastest?
When someone is unexpectedly mad at me.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years’ time?
Probably working in a supermarket someplace.  Or unemployed, I expect.

12. What’s your fear?
That should be plural.  Death, disease, the usual lot.

13. What kind of person(s) do you think the person(s) who tagged you is/are?
A wise and witty blogger who writes about her life and the world around her.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Depends how rich we’re talking about and who it is I’d be married to.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Attempt to force myself out of bed.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
Whichever I thought was most in love with me.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
Yes – in time.

19. The one thing you can never forgive in love?
I don’t believe anything is truly unforgivable.

20. List 6 people to tag:
You, you, you, you, you, and you. Yes, you, the reader.

Ta da!

Damn, I’m tired today.

Meme time!

9 06 2008

I realise I should be revising right about now, but I can’t be doing revision all the time.  Anyway, I’ve been tagged by sulz to do a meme.  This is my first time, so I’m hoping it will be gentle… 😉

The Expansionist Meme

Please thoughtfully consider the following, and choose one item for each of the categories below. (Be sure to describe your reasons for choosing)

  • One religious work from a non-familiar tradition you’ll read:

A tricky question, right off the bat.  I don’t actually know much about religious texts, so I’m not totally aware of what texts exist, and which ones I can read without it being deemed sacrilegious.  So no promises!

I’m curious about the Sikh sacred text, the Guru Granth Sahib.  It sounds a very interesting read.  Unfortunately, I gather that in order to fully understand it, it should be read in its original languages, none of which I understand.  To be honest, I’m curious about most religious texts.

  • One music video–that you like–from your “least likely to listen to’ genre:

I will listen to just about anything, but disco is definitely an example of a genre I don’t seek out actively, so…  how about Stayin’ Alive?  It’s a pretty cool video.

Although, I can’t help wondering how their voices even go so high pitched!

  • A book from a genre you almost never read, that you have read, or you will read (promise!):

I don’t often read detective or mystery fiction, but I have read The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  I wasn’t a fan, but my tastes have since broadened considerably, so perhaps it’s time I gave Holmes another chance.

  • Somewhere you’d never thought to go on holiday/vacation, and why it might be fun to go there:

Off the top of my head, Rome.  I’d never really considered Rome as a holiday destination, but lots of people do go on holiday there, so it must be pretty good.  I’d be particularly interested in the historical buildings there.

  • A specific food you’ve never tried, but will because of this meme, honest!:

Uh… banana on toast with cinnamon.  That sounds nice.  In fact, I think I’ll make myself some right here, right now!

  • A sport or game you really hate, or haven’t tried yet, but are willing to give one more go:

Fencing.  I’ve never tried it, and it’s never really appealed, but I know a number of people who say it’s a lot of fun, so I’ll give it a shot if I get the opportunity.

  • A style of dance you probably won’t try (we won’t make you promise on this one):

I’m glad I don’t have to promise, since there’s no telling what I’ll do after consuming a sufficient quantity of alcohol… but, much as I love folk traditions, I think it’s safe to say that I will never do a sword dance.  I wouldn’t want to make too much of a fool of myself.

  • A career or job you don’t feel you’re suited for, and why:

Mathematician.  I’m hopeless at maths!

  • An item that’s “thinking out of the box’ for this meme that hadn’t been included:

 OK… outside the box, huh?  Um… how about:

A movie you are going to watch in a style you don’t normally watch:

I don’t watch monster movies, but I’m planning to watch Cloverfield when I get around to it, because my friends kept talking about how much they enjoyed it.  There, that ought to count.


Well, that’s that.  I am no longer a meme virgin.

While I’m at it, here’s another meme which MusEditions suggested I could answer, penned by the many-talented sulz:

The bloggerdygook Meme

1. What does gobbledygook mean to you?

“Nonsense”, which is pretty much what I’d expect the dictionary to tell me it means.  For some reason, though, I always think it could also represent the sound a turkey makes.

2. What do you like about yourself?

I can be quite creative and imaginative at times.

3. What activity do you enjoy doing, that you never thought you would until you tried it?

Using the Internet, funnily enough.  I was deeply suspicious of the Internet until I actually went on it.  Blogging, in particular, was something I was very apprehensive about until I tried it.

4. What have you learnt about yourself from your previous (and current) romantic relationships?

Only that I’m useless at romatic relationships.

5. What physical traits do you find attractive in the opposite sex?

I was tempted to just write “BOOBS!!!” and move onto the next question, but I have a feeling that would cause my readers to think even less of me than they already do, so I’ll have a go at answering this seriously.

A good sense of humour, and a nice smile.  I also like people who are skilled at art or music, because I find that impressive.  It’s really difficult to single out which specific traits make a person attractive, though.

6. Do you believe in any superstitions, or have some particular ritual?

I don’t consider myself superstitious, but I try to keep an open mind about people’s spiritual beliefs.

There are a lot of things that I do so often that they could be considered rituals, though.  For example, every time I leave the house, I have to go back and check that I locked the door.  I think I might just be slightly OCD. 🙂

7. What’s the nicest thing you’ve ever done for somebody?

I really can’t think of anything to mention.  It’s not that I never do nice things, it’s that I do them out of habit, and I can’t think of any one especially nice thing I’ve done for anyone.  It’s a lot easier to remember times when I’ve screwed up and upset someone.  This is a really tough question.

To be honest, it’s so difficult I can’t think of an answer.  Sometimes I’ve helped people out without being asked, and it’s always felt so rewarding just to see that people are happy.

Let me see…  No, it’s no good.  I realise this is a total cop-out, but I can’t think of anything that fits.  Sorry!

8. If you could something with your blog (cost, time and other factors irrelevant), what would you do?

I’d like to post more often.  Somehow, I never seem to find the time to post everything I want to.

I’d also like to maybe put more of my creative writing on here.  When I’ve done that before it’s gotten a fairly positive response, so I’m thinking I might post more in future.

9. Books, chocolates, sex. Make a sentence with it.

“Our school books lay forgotten as we sat in the ‘silent study’ area, eating chocolates and loudly discussing sex.”

I was going to make a totally innocent sentence containing the phrase “the opposite sex”, but then I decided that one was too good not to use.

10. If you were dead now, what would people most remember about you?

Geez, way to end on a downer.  I expect my close friends and family would remember me as someone who was kind and tried his best to be a good person, while everyone else would remember me, if at all, as some random nerd who really should have looked both ways before stepping out into the street.


And on that morbid note, I conclude my meme answering.  Those were very difficult!

I don’t really know who to tag, but I would like it if people decided to do these memes themselves, so if you like them, by all means use them.

In other words, I tag YOU!