Chapter 126 – the rant

2 08 2009

I planned for Honorine’s life to develop in this manner, but I never imagined how much I’d sympathise with her.  The word “shut-in” hit home rather harder than I could have predicted it would.

You know what I really dislike?  When an author starts a story and then abandons it midway, betraying the readers in the process.

I screwed up.  I honestly don’t know what happened.  I wouldn’t blame you if you thought I’d given up on this story, because you have only my word – and you do have my word – that I didn’t.

Lately, I’ve just lost touch with everything, and everyone.  I haven’t been playing guitar, I haven’t been playing piano, haven’t been reading; I’ve lost contact with people, online and even somewhat offline, and not realised how long it’s been until, well, now.  Offline, I have the lame excuse that I have no money and no job, but online I don’t even have that.

There are so many things I should have blogged, but didn’t.  At the moment I find myself very much sympathising with sulz, who I only just learned is stopping blogging indefinitely.  I don’t have her excuses, but like sulz, somehow my heart just hasn’t been in writing lately.

I read a post on Museditions’ blog earlier which I think has made me realise my problem: I’ve been wanting to blog out of necessity – that is, desire to complete the story – but I have had little interest in the blogging itself.

For this reason,I’m not going to insult your intelligence as readers by making more promises.  The fact is, I don’t know if I’ll update regularly.  I am clearly not reliable.  I hate myself so much for this, but I think it’s one of those things I need to face up to.  Of course, I’ll try to update regularly.  But, well, I’m a hypocrite.

And I’m tired, so I need to wrap this post up, but I think I should mention:

Brüno and The Half-Blood Prince

I’ve been to the cinema twice since I last posted.  I went with friends to see Brüno, and I went with my family to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (well, it would hardly have been the other way around!).

That’s right, innocent little Bobby G watched Brüno.  And for the most part, I was entertained by it, although it was extremely crass in places.  It’s a mark of how jaded the Internet has left me that the only thing that really shocked me in the movie was the attitudes of the stage parents.  Oh, and the fact that he was still alive after that comment about Osama bin Laden.  (Oh good grief, I think I lost my innocence to imageboards! :( )

I don’t know why I even joked about that.  It seriously bothers me that I’m not as innocent as I was.  That’s my personality I’m losing.

I had been extremely apprehensive about this new Harry Potter film, and I was especially upset to learn that it left out Luna’s commentary scene, which is the best moment in the entire series, but I was pleasantly surprised by the film.  They didn’t have the commentary scene, but it was nevertheless an excellent adaptation of the novel, and possibly my favourite Harry Potter movie so far.  The acting was a lot better than that of the previous film, which certainly helped.  The characters were very convincing this time around; Malfoy, Luna, Slughorn and Lavender really were Malfoy, Luna, Slughorn and Lavender.  There was something a little odd about hearing Harry say the word “tosser”, but he is supposed to be sixteen by this point (of course, he looks a deal older).  If you haven’t seen it, I definitely recommend this movie.

Goodness, I’m tired.  I have no idea how I’ll be up in good time tomorrow at this rate.  It’s 3:20 already.

Goodnight!

Current listening: S Club 7, “Don’t Stop Movin'”


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10 responses

3 08 2009
sulz

my relationship with blogging at the moment is like being stuck in a romantic relationship that isn’t going anywhere. i don’t feel in love with my blog anymore, yet at the same time i still love it for what we went through and i feel it’d be such a waste to give all those years up.

maybe you’re in the same boat.

6 08 2009
B0bbyG

I think you’re right, maybe I am. And I don’t want to give it up after all the time I’ve put into it and the people I’ve met through it, but blogging has lost the… sense of fulfilment? Charm? It’s lost something, at any rate. I’m still hoping I can recapture it, though.

Here’s hoping that we’ll both rediscover blogging at some point in the future!

3 08 2009
museditions

I hate myself so much for this, but I think it’s one of those things I need to face up to.”
—Oh, sweetheart! (Please forgive me for calling you “sweetheart”, but I can hardly help it when you get like this. I hope you are not too mortified.)
It sounds to me like you’re having a spot of depression. Understandable with no job, etc. Still, if I could say anything to you it would be this: You don’t owe anyone anything. Honestly. I, for one, never thought you had given up on the story. You had put so much into it. It appears you were ready for a break. Or even to abandon the project. What gave you joy for quite some time now, perhaps feels more like a chore. Nothing wrong with that; we have experiences to learn what we want as well as what we don’t want. Therefore, you must be learning a great deal! I surely hope you don’t consider your attempts at authorism a failure. Look how long you kept it up; chapter after chapter!!! You’ve gotten as far as Chapter 126, for heaven’s sake!
If you never write another word, your readers won’t die (for the most part) or stop liking you, or think you’re a slacker; really!!!
If you do decide to carry on with the story, I shall be delighted, of course. I would like to know what becomes of all those I’ve come to regard as neighbors, almost.
Right now, I’m seeing your novel as like a television series on summer hiatus. We wait, with great anticipation, for new episodes. Sometimes the producer (in this case, you!) or the network decides not to bring it back.
All that would mean, in your case, is that something else drew forth your creative energy more than this is doing for now. Cheers & all is right with the world.

= = =

As for Bruno, I haven’t seen it, but I’ve heard extensive radio interviews about the content. I don’t think I would find anything too shocking (I DID grow up in San Francisco) but I’m intrigued by your unhappiness at innocence lost. I don’t think I ever felt that way, and I find it sort of refreshing and charming, although I commiserate with you in that you can’t, in fact, get that back. Once you know, you know. I feel, having known you for a while, Internetally speaking, that your considerably splendid personality will survive and develop new nuances. I await, with friendly interest, to see how you unfold. I don’t “do Potter” so I have nothing to respond with, there, but I’m awfully glad you liked it!🙂

6 08 2009
B0bbyG

What a comment! Thank you Muse, this really means a lot.

What gave you joy for quite some time now, perhaps feels more like a chore.

^ This. Even though I used to love blogging, I’ve lately been looking at it more like something that I really ought to be getting on with, rather than something I want to do.

And thank you with providing me with a fresh way to look at things! I was thinking that being 126 chapters in meant there was no excuse to stop it. Not that I intend to.

For the moment, I’m going to take it slowly. I’m working on chapter 127, and I’m hopeful that I can have the story up and running again before too long.🙂

And I’m sorry about the innocence thing, that was silly. Looking back, this really was an emo post. I’ve sometimes felt that being innocent is all that stopped me from being a generic creepy nerd. I don’t know how else to describe or label myself. But that’s just me being daft, I think.

I would recommend the Harry Potter film on its own merits, but I’m not sure how much sense it makes if you haven’t seen the others.

2 09 2009
The Totton linnet

Funny innit, for six months I didn’t get a poem so I haven,t been around much either, and I thought a couple of times to just scrub my blogs out, but I couldn’t, like you can’t vandalise a painting you know? or you shouldn’t at least. Now at least I’ll make copies before I scrub them-for my grandchildren😮 take care Bobby G🙂

3 10 2009
museditions

B0bby!!!!

9 03 2010
bobbyfedder

As a fellow blogger named Bobby, who stumbled onto your blog, I hope you keep writing!! Feel free to check mine out at http://immodprops.wordpress.com/! Good luck!

11 09 2010
Luke Mundell

Hi there, I think you have hit the nail on the head with this one😀
I’m a new As level Film studies and Media studies, and my first assignment was to create a blog on Film studies (www.medialuke.blogspot.com). I am very new to all this stuff never done it befor:/
So… i was wondering if ever you had some free time you could browse it and email me any tips or anything really😛
Ta. Luke

28 10 2010
tomioladepo

I am quite new to this blogging thingy, since you guys have been blogging as far back as “middle ages ago” … yet I can relate with your rants about having a love-lost with blogging for a while. It is a natural thing, don’t beat yourself up about it.

Meanwhile, can I get a few tips from you and Sulz… you guys seems to be rocking the blogosphere big time. I cant share what my stats are with u (in secret). It’s that bad. But I do enjoy writing, and I take consolation in the fact that it is what I love. However, I wouldn’t mind to see my bars get a bit taller🙂
What do you say? *stretches hand for a shake*

7 12 2011
Andy

Hey guys!! I have recently made a new movie trailer for a horror film called REWIND, I would appreciate if you could go ahead and watch the trailer on YouTube and leave me a like or comment or whatever and please SHARE it!!🙂 thanks , I just need some feedback! Thanks a lot.




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