Chapter 125 – the rant

3 07 2009

Woah, it’s a while since I’ve posted one of these.  But then, if you’re reading this, you probably noticed.  I can’t apologise enough for that.  Sorry.

Leaver’s Day, Revenge of the Fallen, and a meme from a muse

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little odd.  I’ve isolated myself, both online and offline.  But, this is neither the time nor the place for me to angst, especially when I’ve very little to angst about.  Besides, this is only my third post in a while, so I probably shouldn’t push my luck by trying everyone’s patience.

I meant to post this chapter yesterday, but what with one thing and another, I’m afraid I failed to find the time.  You see, yesterday was leaver’s day at school, which meant we all had to go in, sit around feeling boiling, bored and depressed, eat lunch, listen to a short assembly, and go home again.  They mispelled my name in the yearbook, but that’s OK, because I didn’t order one.  I did order a commemorative hoodie, but apparently I didn’t pay for it, so they’re going to hold onto it until I do so.

After that, I went home, made dinner, and then went off to the cinema.  I’d gotten a text that morning from a few friends who were back from uni, who were going to see the new Transformers movie.  Unfortunately, one guy was late, so we changed times to a later showing.  He didn’t show up, so I volunteered to wait outside with his ticket while the others found seats.  Fifteen minutes into the film, he still hadn’t arrived, so I gave up and went in, and was informed that I’d “missed loads of explosions already”.

I can’t honestly say I enjoyed the movie very much.  I’d hesitate to say I enjoyed it less than Twilight, but I wasn’t expecting to enjoy that, and I think it was possibly the better movie (please don’t hurt me!).  It probably didn’t help that I haven’t seen the original, so I didn’t know the characters, but I arrived in time to see bland Optimus Prime deliver a boring speech, and see Sam, his parents and his goofy roommate get up to moronic hijinks at college (note to Michael Bay, if by some minute chance you ever read this – people on pot do not act like that).

When we did get an action scene, involving a Decepticon named (spoiler) Alice, it was an enjoyable spectacle, and the later ones were even better.  I particularly liked the fight scene in which Optimus Prime dual-wielded a couple of glowy sword things.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t suspend my disbelief enough to form any attachment to the characters or take an interest in the plot, because the characters are so ridiculous.  When stuff isn’t blowing up on screen, we’re subjected to rather boring comedy, usually involving some combination of slapstick, innuendo and testicles.  Particularly crass are a couple of Autobots named Skid and Mudflap, two annoying ethnic stereotypes who make Jar-Jar Binks seem positively endearing by comparison.

Still, if you cut out those Autobot twins, with their ghetto slang, their illiteracy and their failure to do anything useful in terms of moving the story forward, and if you cut out the “hilarious” comedy scenes involving tasers and pot brownies, it could have been an enjoyable action flick.  As it was, it was far too long.  I did phone home beforehand to let my parents know it was a long movie, but the phone was engaged and they didn’t check their messages, so when I emerged from the cinema at midnight, it was to discover a concerned text message, which seemed to assume I’d been out drinking.

If I hadn’t forgotten about my email account lately, I’d have discovered that Museditions emailed me a while back with a meme to complete.  So, very belatedly, here it is:

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

“My hair looks terrible!”

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?

£1.50.  That’s not all the money I have in the world, but you see why I’m getting slightly desperate on the job hunting thing.

3. Do you label yourself?

Yes, although I’m not sure it’s a good idea, especially since I think I’m neither sufficiently normal to be mainstream, nor suffiently computer literate or aware of anime and video games to be a proper nerd.

4. What does your watch look like?

Small, black, electronic.  It’s very cheap.  I do own a better one, but I’m scared of scratching it, so I don’t wear it!  Plus it’s in analogue time, which always takes me a moment to read, since I’m so used to my digital watch.

5. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Just leaving the cinema having seen Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

6. What’s a word that you say a lot?

“Actually”.  I say it all the time offline.  I correct myself, I correct other people, I use it for emphasis or even just as filler.  I really ought to stop using that word!

7. Who told you he/she loved you last?

A really creepy old guy I met down the pub the other day, disturbingly enough.  He told me that repeatedly.  I made an excuse and ran away at the first opportunity.

8. Last furry thing you touched?

No idea.  Probably the neighbour’s dog.

9. What was the last thing you said to someone?

“Goodnight, dad.”

10. The last song you listened to?

“The Masses against the Classes”, by Manic Street Preachers.

11. Where did you live five years ago?
 

Same place I live now.

12. Are you jealous of anyone?

People who are totally content with who they are, I suppose.

13. Is anyone jealous of you?

Hah!  Not that I know of.

14. Name three things that you have on you at all times?

My watch, and – that’s about it.  I don’t keep anything on my person at all times.  I have a tendancy to go out of the house with nothing but the clothes I’m wearing, forgetting my keys, phone, ID…

15. What’s your favourite town/city?

I don’t know.  I’m not a city person.  Probably Cheltenham, although I wouldn’t want to live there (also, it’s kinda snobby).

16. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

Probably January, sending relatives “thank you” letters.

17. Can you change the oil on a car?

Nope.

18. What is your current desktop picture?

Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist.  It used to be the TARDIS until quite recently when I decided it was time for a change.

19. When did you start your blog?

March 2007, as part of a school project.  Hence the title.

20. What country would you like to live in other than your own?

I’d rather stay here, but since that’s not allowed, somewhere in Europe.  I wouldn’t mind anywhere in the British Isles, or France, Spain, Germany, Italy, or anywhere in Scandinavia.  That last sentence has gone off the page, so I hope I didn’t just break WordPress.

Thank you for that, Muse.  I enjoyed that. 🙂  I hope you enjoyed it too.

So… back!

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Chapter 125 – Mictlantecuhtli killing in Lancashire?

2 07 2009

(Hercynian Report news blog)

The feared serial killer Mictlantecuhtli may still be active in Lancashire, Lancashire Constabulary warned this morning, following the discovery of the body of a Hyperborean doctor near Bay Horse.

The 25-year-old doctor was discovered by the roadside at 1:15 this morning. She had suffered blunt head trauma as well as multiple stab wounds to the torso and arms. Her forehead was marked with a capital ‘M’ in black ink.

Police describe the death as suspicious, but note that there is no conclusive evidence of any connection between this death and the suspected serial killer Mictlantecuhtli, who is believed to have been responsible for a series of deaths in Hercynia last year. However, they warn the public to remain alert, and one officer described the death as “strongly suggestive” of Mictlantecuhtli involvement.

“Mictlantecuhtli” is the name of the Aztec god of death. It first became linked to a series of six deaths last year when a letter was sent to the police describing the deceased as having been “claimed by the Lord Mictlantecuhtli”. All the claimed victims were found with the letter “m” drawn on their foreheads. It was initially supposed that this was the work of a cult, but in March this year, police announced that they believed the murders were all committed by an individual, dubbed Mictlantecuhtli by the media and general public.